It’s been almost four days without a cigarette. I’m still a little unbalanced emotionally, but what I notice now is how things really seem to come alive. Not just taste and smells, but everything. It’s like my withdrawal from and consequently craving for nicotine throws everything into a kind of glaring Technicolor. Music is faster and more intense, I work much more concentrated, I pick up all kinds of sounds and little sights there were always there but never registered, my craving for Marieke is inspiringly excruciating, even you-know-what is more intense… it’s not altogether unpleasant at all!

(some of you might recognize Donna Tart’s ideas and words here, I quoted from a particularly inspiring paragraph from The Secret History)

I’m going for a swim now, and a canoo trip later this evening. I really need to do something, otherwise my mind keeps going back to those two places. Glaring Technicolor and all is great, but be careful not to hurt your eyes. And I don’t want to start thinking about a cigarette while I’m bored… Fight Boredom! Fight Boredom!

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